Thursday, April 24, 2014

It's all fun and games until...

... someone tries to conga with their pants around their ankles.

No photos for this post.

I've had Jay at home all week. Debbie, his wonderful daycare provider, lost her sister on Easter Sunday after a long bout with cancer. We knew Connie, a little anyway, and she loved Debbie's kids. We will miss her. With some heaviness in our hearts, we set out for a big-jeff-little-jeff bonding week.

We've been doing well. Both of us have adjusted our expectations for the week. Right now Jay is taking his first real, not in-the-car-while-daddy-is-exhausting-himself-driving-then-waking-up-when-we-get-somewhere nap. It's Thursday. 

Tuesday was the hardest- he woke up, a little scared and a little damp, at four in the morning. As in, he FULLY woke up. I wasn't about to start snoring next to him when there was bouncing and singing to do. So, we never got back to sleep. He DID fall asleep at 9:45 on our way to library story hour. I carried him in, and rocked him during the story reading, as his friends and mine wandered past. I finally decided that we should go. He woke up when I tried to peel him off my chest and place him in his car seat. He screamed to go back into the library. And, he was up. Up again, and for the rest of the day. We poured him into his crib a seven that evening (he usually goes down around 8:30, if we're lucky), and he slept through the night.

Yesterday he also took only a short nap, on the way to Home Depot. When we got there he woke up, and wanted to go inside. We picked out lots of garden supplies (I found several seed packets of mystery vegetables in the bag when we got home). On the way home, I asked if he wanted to go to his friend Alex's house. We hadn't been there before, but his mom was looking for play date candidates and we were just as anxious to fill the latter part of the afternoon. We had to stop by our house along the way to check messages and grab a fruit tree order for Mandy's Spring Nursery, which was between our house and Alex's. All the way home Jay was chattering about going to Alex's house. He was also showing signs of a second straight day with a too-short nap, which is to say he was getting a bit moody and, at times, downright giddy.

I left him playing in the yard and ran inside. I checked messages and grabbed the order and check, and went back out to the van. I said, "Let's go to Alex's house!"

As he climbed onto his slide for one last run, I couldn't help but laugh. "Dude. Are you smuggling grapefruit in your pants?"

He giggled, and said "Yeah Daddy!" He came running over and climbed into the van. 

I pride myself in the 20-second diaper change, no matter the conditions. Ten seconds if it's only wet. I fully expect to get a call from an Indy pit crew before Memorial Day. We have been practicing our Standing Diaper Change, and he knew the drill. This time he wanted to stand on the center seat, which put everything right in front of me- easy peasy. Thanks little guy. I pulled his pants to his ankles, and dropped his diaper. It hit the driveway like an unbroken water balloon. SPLOOSH!

There is no book to read which can prepare a dad, young or old, for what came next. 

His pants were still down. He turned his rear end to me (remember, this is all happening at eye level), and started shaking. Then the singing begins.

Dunt dunt dunt dunt - CON-GA!

Dunt dunt dunt dunt - CON-GA!

He got halfway through the third line before he fell over, between the seats, laughing hysterically. He hit the floor, yelled out "I'M OKAY!", and jumped back up to start again.

Dunt dunt dunt dunt - CON-GA!

Dunt dunt dunt dunt - CON-GA!

By now we both completely lost it. The harder I tried to get his diaper on, the harder he wiggled and the louder he sang. This went on for five full minutes before we both collapsed onto the seat, still laughing and panting. 

I have absolutely NO idea where this came from. I wish I did know; I feel like I owe someone a thank-you letter. 

The ten-second diaper change took more like ten minutes. It also marked another step forward for us. I am realizing how much fun it is to be with him- not in an observing father, watching his growth kind of way, but simply to enjoy him as a person, to love (most of) his developing personality, to share with him dad-to-son as well as human-to-human.

We did eventually stop and order our trees, and we did get to Alex's house. I'm glad we ended up running late.


  1. As a current nanny and lifetime caretaker of little people, I giggled, chuckled a nd outright laughed. THOSE MOMENTS are what repays us for the cranks, the meltdowns, the NOs. You described it so perfectly. Thanks for reminder and the joy.